The Cabin Conundrum
by Corgi63
Summary: What happens with Sheldon and Amy after Leonard and Penny go to bed in the cabin after playing Never Have I Ever? My first fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

Sheldon shifted on the couch, turning almost completely sideways towards Amy and leaning forward, smiling into her green eyes that were sparkling back at him. He hadn't been this relaxed and connected to her in a long while. His anxiety about being "off the grid" and in a rural environment was all but forgotten. He was even enjoying the wine if he took small enough sips. The warm feeling inside of him was spreading with each sip and each glance into Amy's eyes.

He really enjoyed the way they were so much the same, easily swapping ideas of things they had both never done that lesser mortals could not claim. Salting food before trying it, throwing a frisbee, putting a foot in the ocean….

Each time they found something they could agree they had never done, never would do, his attraction to Amy increased. He leaned forward, he even patted her arm at one point. He found himself staring into her eyes and glancing at her smile and feeling more and more pulled towards her. He wanted to get close enough to smell her, to feel her breath on his skin, but he wasn't sure how to make it happen.

"Never have I ever….," he began, grinning mischieviously at Amy, "pressed all the buttons in an elevator!"

To his utter shock, Amy locked eyes with him and took a sip of her wine, grinning even more widely when she saw his eyes widen in shock. He felt like this heart would beat out of his chest as he exclaimed.

"Amy!"

"We all have a past, Sheldon," Amy said, putting down her wine glass and sitting back up against the couch, leaning slightly towards him, hands demurely in her lap. She seemed to be begging him to react, very pleased with herself.

"You Vixen!" Sheldon exclaimed, leaning forward without thinking and patting her arm.

As soon as he touched her arm, he felt a warm electrical jolt course through him. Amy's eyes sparkled back at him and she placed her hand on top of his, leaning forward even more towards him.

"It's actually surprisingly satisfying," she said. She looked at him conspiratorially. "When we get back, if you want, we could do it together in the elevator in my building."

Sheldon's eyes lit up at the adventure of it. "We could pick a time when no one else is likely to need it, so we don't inconvenience anyone!" he exclaimed.

"Yes, we could!" Amy agreed, beaming, squeezing his hand that was still on her arm.

Without thinking about it, Sheldon pulled Amy towards himself and put his arm around her, so that they ended up half lying together, cuddling. He relished her warmth against his body, and inhaled her scent as she immediately nestled into his chest and sighed with pleasure.

They stayed like this for a few minutes, both happy to just be close. Sheldon played with Amy's hair and stroked her shoulder lightly. Amy gently stroked her thumb on Sheldon's chest, afraid to move too much.

After a few quiet minutes, Amy decided to risk speaking.

"This is my favorite place in the world," she said softly, turning her face to smile up at him.

"A cabin the woods with no wifi or cell service is your favorite place in the world?" Sheldon asked, aghast, stiffening up.

"No, Sheldon," Amy rushed to assure him, making eye contact with him and laying her hand on his shoulder in reassurance, but staying pressed against him. "Not here," she said, gesturing to the room. "I mean, here, " she gestured to Sheldon's chest. "Right here, in your arms, is my favorite place in the world. I don't care where we actually ARE…"

Sheldon relaxed and Amy nestled back into his chest. "Oh," he said, thinking about that. He didn't say anything further. Sheldon yawned, feeling very relaxed and not at all uncomfortable being so close to another person. He realized how much he had changed. He felt as comfortable being close to Amy as he felt when he was alone. There was no stress in holding her hand, cuddling, or stroking her hair. He enjoyed it. He felt like he would like to suggest that they could do more, but he didn't know quite how to bring it up. He knew he was not good at reading people, Amy included, sadly. Sighing, he thought he would ask for a Relationship Summit when they got home, and maybe make a few changes to the Relationship Agreement. That's better than just springing it on her. What would he suggest they put in it? More cuddling, maybe. Maybe even a monthly sleepover? They had already agreed to coitus once a year. He didn't feel brave enough to bring that subject up again yet.

He went back to stroking her hair and Amy sighed and snuggled a little closer. Sheldon immediately tightened his arms around her and held her more firmly, lowering his head to nuzzle the top of her head and inhale her fresh clean scent.

He seems so calm and relaxed with me in his arms, thought Amy. Here we are in this romantic cabin. Penny and Leonard had long since excused themselves to go to bed. It's been 3 months since my birthday. Sheldon said he enjoyed it…

No, I promised I would not push him. I can't ruin this. Cuddling on the couch with him is so wonderful. It has to be enough.

He did say he enjoyed it. He certainly seemed enthusiastic at the time. How can I bring it up, without actually seeming pathetic? Dare I risk it?

Sheldon yawned again.

Amy thought of something she could say. She decided she would risk it, before he ended the evening and they went to their separate rooms. If he didn't take the bait, she could be the one to say good night and get up first.

Amy snuggled in and nuzzled Sheldon's warm chest, tightening her arms that were around him slightly.

"Hmmmmmmm. I wish it was my birthday…" she said quietly, waiting.

Sheldon stopped playing with her hair.

"Why?" he asked her in astonishment, sitting up and releasing his hold on her. "Do you want cake? Presents? A party? This is not a very good location for those sorts of things, Amy. We are miles from any stores and our friends could not easily get here, not to mention we can't even get hold of them anyway with no cell phone service!"

"No, I know," Amy backpedaled, regretting that she said anything. He didn't get it. She should have known he would not get a subtle hint. We are talking about Sheldon, after all. She straightened her skirt as she sat up. "Forget I mentioned it."

She stood, up, feeling the need to flee. She doubted he would notice that she felt uncomfortable suddenly.

"Good night, Sheldon. Thank you for a wonderful evening. I really enjoyed playing Never Have I Ever with you. And thank you for letting me spend some time in my favorite place." She smiled lovingly down at Sheldon. It really had been a special evening. Until she got greedy and ruined it.

Sheldon stood. "Good night, Amy. I'll walk you to your room."

The walk down the short hall took no time at all.

"Sleep well, Sheldon. See you tomorrow."

"Good night, Amy."

Sheldon turned across the hall and opened the door to his room.

That was a surprisingly nice evening considering we are miles from emergency services and have no electronics or cell service, he thought. I wouldn't want to live like this for long, but one or two nights occasionally is doable I suppose.

He looked around the quiet of his room. His inclination was to get out his laptop or check emails on his phone before bed. He felt a little twitchy when he realized he couldn't do either.

Without any distractions, he decided to get ready for bed. As he was leaning over the sink brushing his teeth, his mind wandered back to his enjoyable evening with Amy. Playing the game, Sheldon was delighted to find evidence again and again of how well suited he and Amy were for each other. He thought about the elevator, and Amy's playful suggestion that they press all the buttons in her building's elevator. Vixen! he thought in delight, glad he had suggested they find a time to do it when no one else would be needing the elevator. There was a time and place for hijinks and one had to plan responsibly.

I suppose that would be late at night, he mused. Maybe the next time I spend the night, on Amy's next birth-

Sheldon stopped cold and stood up at the sink, toothbrush still in his mouth.

I wish it was my birthday, Amy had said. At the time, he had thought it was a very strange thing to say. Now his heart caught in his throat as he wondered if she could have meant…..

Good Lord, did she mean she wished they would have coitus tonight?


	2. Chapter 2

Amy was NOT going to cry. She wasn't going to let it happen tonight. As she changed into her nightgown, she willed herself to think back on the evening and focus on the good parts. Really, they were ALL good parts. Sheldon was practically flirting with me! He cuddled with me, and it was his idea! Everything about the evening was good, with the exception of the end of the night, with her ending up alone again. Because she blew it with her stupid birthday comment.

She brushed out her hair and picked up her toiletry bag and hand towel and crossed the hall to the bathroom.

As she brushed her teeth, she reflected on her situation.

There's really no way out of this, she thought ,trying not to give to despair.

What I want, is for Sheldon to want me. And he can't help it that he just doesn't. He can't help it if he isn't attracted to me. He forced himself to be intimate with me when we got back together, once, probably because he knew how much it would mean to me. But he did it as a gift to me, for God's sake. Not because HE wanted to. How pathetically gratefully I was, too, she thought in embarrassment. My silly romantic soul, thinking that once we were intimate, suddenly the floodgates of Sheldon's passion would open and all would be well forever. It hurt so much that that didn't happen. Amy felt her throat close up and a lump form, tears stinging her eyes.

I tried breaking up with him, and that was even worse. It's not like I want to go find someone else. There IS no one else. There will never be anyone else for me. I want Sheldon Cooper. I have to find a way to be okay with this semi-platonic relationship. He may never want more than this and there isn't anything I can do about it.

There isn't any point talking to him about it, she thought as she put her toothbrush down and looked at herself in the mirror. He can't help it. And I don't WANT him to force himself to be intimate with me when he doesn't feel attracted to me. Amy felt another lump growing in her chest. Humiliation. She could never ask him to have pity sex with her. She must never be so pathetic. God ,she wanted to break down and beg him. She wanted to fall into his arms and cry and cry and tell him exactly how she felt. She could imagine his strong arms around her, holding her and comforting her and assuring her he DID want her. Taking her to bed and proving it. It was all a fantasy. One she had indulged in many times. It didn't help her feel any better in the end, because it WAS a fantasy, and it wasn't going to happen. She HAD to come to terms with this.

The tears were streaming down her face before she could stop them. She splashed cold water on her face and buried her face in her towel, willing herself to stop with deep but shaky breaths.

I can't let him see me like this. I can't let him know how hard this for me.

Just get through this weekend, she thought. Once you get home, you can indulge in your Happily Ever After fantasy and cry yourself to sleep and then have the whole week to sleep alone and dive into work, won't THAT be great…..but right now you need to keep it together and enjoy whatever you can get and NOT let Sheldon see how hard it is. He will run a mile if you let him see you like this.

She took a deep determined breath, a final look in the mirror at her tear-streaked face, and left the bathroom, crossing the hall quickly and closing the bedroom door behind her.

Sheldon paced his bedroom. He mind was stuck on this one thought. Did Amy mean she wanted to have coitus tonight? What other explanation was there for her comment, wishing it was her birthday? That was the only explanation that made sense, so therefore that had to be the truth.

He needed to speak to her, ask her. Now.

He heard the bathroom door open and then Amy's door open and click shut quietly. Now or never, Cooper, he thought, crossing the hall before he has time to think about it too much.

Knock Knock Knock," Amy?" he knocked quietly and whispered her name.

Knock Knock Knock, "Amy?"

Knock Knock Knock, "Amy?"

Amy spun around towards the door, on the first knock. Her heart lurched and her stomach dropped, the lump in her throat cutting off her ability to swallow or breath.

Oh, no. It's Sheldon. He'll see I've been crying. Oh, no.

She knew she had to answer the door. Maybe he won't notice. He doesn't read facial expressions very well. Maybe he won't even know I've been crying. She dried her face on her towel and opened the door a few inches.

"Sheldon? Are you alright?"

Sheldon ignored her question, intent on speaking to her about her birthday comment.

"Amy. May I come in?" he asked quietly.

Amy opened her door wider and gestured him to come in, closing the door quietly behind her. He was wearing his plaid pajama pants and a white tshirt.

Oh no, thought Amy, he's wearing the same pajamas I peeled off of him on my birthday….

Suddenly she was conscious of being in only her nightgown. Even though they had technically spent two nights together, she was suddenly shy and self conscious. Eyes averted, she went to move past him to get her robe. He reached out to stop her.

"Amy. Amy, please look at me," Sheldon beseeched her.

Amy gasped as his strong hand gently grasped her forearm, muscles in his forearm flexing . Her heart banged in her chest and she stared at that beautiful sexy forearm, eyes dilating, breath catching.

He doesn't know what he does to me, she reminded herself. Hold it together. Maybe he won't notice that I've been crying. He isn't going to notice how affected you are to have him in his pajamas in your bedroom either.

She took a breath and looked up into his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Amy tore her eyes from Sheldon's forearm slowly and looked up into his eyes, taking the time to slowly take him in on the way up, hoping her ragged breathing would not be apparent to him. Her eyes took in his flexed bicep, the soft white t-shirt, the top of his clavicle and neck. The faint five o-clock shadow on his neck and jaw made her lick her lips unconsciously and she swallowed as she finally met his impossibly blue eyes.

To her surprise, he was looking down at her with an intensity and focus she didn't expect. Sheldon rarely looked at her this way. As if his entire attention was on her. His eyes were intense but he had a look of concern on his face as well.

Uh oh, Amy thought, has he seen I have been crying already?

She froze under his gaze, like a deer in headlights, waiting to see what he would do or say. She couldn't even begin to speak through the lump that was back in her throat again.

"Why did you say you wished it was your birthday, Amy?" Sheldon asked.

As he looked at Amy for an answer, he took in her red swollen eyes. His eyes narrowed in puzzlement.

"Amy, are you suffering from allergies? Your eyes were not red and swollen a few minutes ago. "

Amy stuttered, "I….no, I…"

Sheldon's face dropped.

"Have you been crying, Amy?"

Amy dropped her eyes and bit her lips, taking a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. I didn't mean for you to see," Amy admitted.

"You didn't mean for me to see! So, first of all, you WERE crying, and now second, you were going to keep this from me? Amy, I'm your boyfriend, it is my job to comfort you when you are upset!"

To Amy's surprise, Sheldon pulled her in for an enveloping bear hug, pulling her onto his chest and wrapping one arm around her waist. His other arm cradled her head and stroked her hair.

Before she could process what he was doing, he said, "Come and sit down with me," leading her gently to Amy's single bed and sitting up against the headboard, pulling Amy up next to him, still firmly in his arms.

"What is happening, Amy? I really have no idea. You know I'm not good at this sort of thing. You are going to just have to tell me. Did I do something wrong? Do you have painful menstrual cramps? Are you scared to sleep here alone because of the possibility of a bear attack? If so, I will stay with you. All night if I have to."

Amy couldn't help smiling through the tears that had begun again. Was THAT all I had to say to get him to spend the night with me, she thought. Oh brother.

Amy took a deep breath and steadier herself, sitting up against the headboard, loathe to leave Sheldon's embrace but needing to see his face. She was going to have to tell him the truth, and let the chips fall where they may.


	4. Chapter 4

"Okay Sheldon," Amy said into Sheldon's chest, shaking a little. "I am going to tell you why I said I wished it was my birthday, and why I was crying, but first I need to reassure you that you did nothing wrong and it isn't your fault. At all."

Sheldon sighed in relief, tightening his arms around Amy.

Amy continued, looking up into his eyes. "I need to just talk, okay? I don't know if I can look at you while I say it all. I don't want you to say anything, okay? Just let me talk for awhile. I promise you can say whatever you want or need to say when I'm done. Okay?"

Sheldon's eyes were wide and he looked frightened, even though Amy's reassurance had helped him relax a little. He ran his fingers down Amy's jaw and gently and tenderly kissed her lips, just once, then sat back and nodded his head, still watching her a little nervously. He really had NO idea what was going on in her mind.

Amy was a little flustered at his kiss, and how attentive he was being. Here we go, she thought, gathering her thoughts. She settled back into his arms and spoke into his chest.

"You know that I love you, Sheldon. And I know that you love me." She felt Sheldon nod in agreement.

""I'm not sure we mean the exact same thing when we say that, though. That's why I said I wished it was my birthday, and that's also why I was crying just now and not wanting you to know.

You see, Sheldon, I love your mind. I love your heart, your soul, everything about you. I am also incredibly physically attracted to you and I want to express that love and attraction to you so badly it hurts not to be able to. I know this is a hormonal and biological imperative and an urge to procreate. But it is so much more than that to me.

On my birthday, you gave me the greatest gift you could have ever given me when we were intimate together. It's what I had longed for, and still long for. I was so grateful and happy. But it is now clear to me that you forced yourself to do this for me, rather than feeling attracted to me or interested in it yourself."

Amy felt Sheldon tense up and take a breath as if to speak.

She forged ahead, interrupting whatever he was going to say.

"No, it's okay, Sheldon. It's not your fault. It's not your problem. It's my problem. I have to come to terms with it and accept it, and I'm trying. Just as I didn't want you to say you loved me to me on prom night out of a feeling of obligation to me or as a social convention after I said it, I DON'T want you to force yourself to do something so intimate with me just because you know I want to.

The problem is that there is a desperate part of me that DOES want that, and sometimes it seeps out and I can't stop it. That's why I said I wished it was my birthday tonight. I just wanted to make love to you, or touch you, or even just fall asleep in your arms, so badly. For a minute, I was willing to take it even if I knew you would be going through with it only to please me. I'm so sorry, Sheldon. I'm so sorry, and so ashamed. And so sad about it all."

Amy cried quietly in Sheldon's arms and he held her and stroked her back comfortingly.

There, I said it, Amy thought. All the things I swore I would never say.

Amy was surprised to feel a wave of relief flood through her. No more elephant in the room. Even if the elephant might stomp on her heart on the way out the door, at least it's out in the open now.

It was Sheldon's turn to speak. He didn't really know what to say. He needed time to process what Amy had told him, and get his own thoughts in order, and find a way to solve this unsolvable problem.

Unsolvable problem? Suddenly Sheldon felt a small wave of confidence. That's what I do, he thought. I'm a theoretical physicist. I solve the unsolvable problems of the universe. I'll break this problem down into its smallest components and solve each part.

He knew he couldn't do this in the few seconds he had before he needed to speak.

"Amy," Sheldon said, nuzzling his nose into the top of her head. "I love you, I do. I want to love you in every way possible, as you do me, I really do."

"It's okay, Sheldon, you caught me off guard and at a bad time. I'll be okay," Amy gave him the out, as she always did.

"No, it's not okay, Amy. I'm going to need some time to figure this out. I'm sorry I'm not the man you need right now. Will you let me….can you…."

Amy sighed and let go of Sheldon, sitting up.

"Sure Sheldon, you can go back to your room now. Thank you for listening and again, I'll be okay by tomorrow. I just get sad sometimes, but it will pass. I'm sorry to had to see that," Amy assured him.

Sheldon's eyes opened in alarm, "No, I wasn't going to ask you to let me go. I was going to ask if you would come to my room with me. It has a bigger bed. I want you to sleep in your favorite place tonight. Please Amy, for me? I want to hold you close to me. All night. Just sleeping, literally. Please?"

Amy felt her heart lurch and fill with love for Sheldon. After all she has just put him through, crying on him and being so pathetic, and he wasn't running away? He asked her to stay with him? Because HE wanted HER with HIM? Not because he knew SHE wanted it?

"I'd love that Sheldon," Amy said quietly and shyly. Relief and love for Sheldon flooded her, but exhaustion was quickly taking over. Emotional exhaustion.

Sheldon got up and held out his hand to her. She placed her hand in his and followed him into his room, thinking that the way he was leading her to his bed was the most romantic thing he had ever done.


End file.
